So last night my sweet dog out of now where started having breathing issues. Within about 20 minutes we had made the decision to drive him to the emergency vet. He had a wonderful day. Ate his dinner. Played and even jumped up and greated me when I came in late.
Everything was going great! Then AP snuck up.All the way to the hospital I sobbed as I held my helpless best friend in my arms, I tried to reassure him we loved him and that he was the best dog anyone could ask for. My heart was breaking as I was already anticipating being forced to make that horrible decision.
When we got him to the hospital they whisked him away and put him under oxygen. At one point in the night they brought him out to us and said he was doing better but within minutes he was gasping for a breath and he wouldn't look at me. Any dog lover/owner knows their dog and I know mine ! The only time Boscoe wont look at me is if he is mad or sad. He definitatley looked sad. Looking into his sweet eyes I had hoped he would give me a sign. But he just looked away. They came and took him back under the oxygen. I can honestly say for the next few hours I almost prayed that they would come out and tell me he gently went to sleep and passed. Selfish I know, cowardly I know.. but at least then I wouldn't be forced to make the agonizing decision on how to proceed.
The hospital did chest xray and blood work. Finally we have confirmed it is AP (aspiration pneumonia) and they are starting him on Antibiotics. They have begun to ween him off the oxygen and even had him up for a little walk and bathroom break.I know that we have a long rough road ahead and I know that one of these times I am going to have to make the heart breaking decision. For now we are moving forward with treatment. I will be getting him a procollar to help with elevating his head.
I am so beside myself. I know I need to pull myself out of this but all I do is cry. I think it is the uncertainty.
I read today about sweet Maggie who lost her battle at 2am last night. Around the same time our boy was at emerg. I have to believe its not his time. I am very luck to have a super vet here in Kanata. Dr Wright. He is very attentive and goes above and beyond to ensure Boscoe is getting the very best in care. I know we have to have the discussion of Quality of Life.. I know I have to have a plan for him.. But I am not ready yet.
If it was cut and dry and he was in pain or suffering I wouldnt think twice but he isnt and we arent there yet. I have to trust my gut and know we are doing the best for him. I am very lucky to have an incredibly sane ( compared to my current state) husband who doesnt make emotionally driven decisions who encourages and supports the decision to continue with care.
I just want him to know we love him and we want to do whats best for him...
Please keep my little guy in your prayers.
I will post more information as I have it.
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